Obsessions

I go through phases of obsessive curiosity, learning and exploring. In high school, it was music and theater. Every afternoon and evening was filled with play rehearsals, jazz band, jazz choir, concerts, performances, hanging out with band and theater geek friends.

In college, I was obsessed with the gender, sex and relationships, and filled my course load with career-boosting courses (NOT) like Men & Women in American Society, Biology of Human Sexuality, Sociology of Human Sexuality, Sex & Violence in Asian American Literature, Art & Literature Depicting Women During the Renaissance, etc, etc.

Then the travel bug hit me before I studied abroad in London my junior year and I obsessively researched European countries to plan my travel itinerary and spent hours and hours pouring over travel guides to France, Italy, The Netherlands, Scotland, Spain, etc. For at least 2 solid years after college graduation, the only books I read were travel memoirs, and the highlights of my mid-20s were vacations---A 14 day solo trip to London, Manchester & Paris and a vacation to Ecuador to stay with a close friend and his family in Quito.

Somewhere in the last 5 years, life and the financial commitment of living in NYC has me focused less on international travel and more on other, newer obsessions like wedding planning, immediately followed by "oh crap, I'm pregnant!" baby planning, immediately followed by research into education methodology, parenting philosophy, and slew of related topics that I never thought I'd care about. In fact, when I was pregnant and first read the phrase "parenting philosophy", I was like "Huh??? People label their parenting styles? That's insane. Free range parenting? Attachment Parenting? People think too much."

But now I'm the poster child of a mother who thinks so much. This latest parenting obsession makes sense - I am a mom after all - but it goes way beyond what an average parent needs to know. Parenting is instinctual for the most part - it's not like you need to study. But I'm addicted to the research component of it all - I want to learn everything there is to know about raising a child from various points of view, all the different theories on discipline, every method of sleep training, play-based learning philosophies, at-home project ideas to build fine motor skills, increase confidence, etc, etc.

In my free time, I read blogs like Play at Home Mom, Tinkerlab, Modern Parents, Messy Kids, Penelope Trunk's Homeschooling Blog and various mommy blogs, I see what my virtual mommy friends are up to on Twitter, and I scope out Pinterest for cool project ideas to add to my For Savvy board. I've read all the books. In fact, I'm expecting a shipment from Amazon that includes How to Raise and Emotionally Intelligent Child, which I'm sure isn't rocket science but I'm DYYYYINNNNNG to read it because it is referenced so often in all these silly articles and blogs I read.

When I stop and think about it, it's clearly insane to be doing all this additional research when parenting has come incredibly naturally to me. Half the time, I read some piece of advice and pat myself on the back because it highlights something I already do naturally. Parenting my sweet Savannah already occupies my brain 99% of the day - I should probably use the remaining 1% of my mental energy to focus on ME.

So I need a new obsession. I WANT that obsession to be living up to the goal of this blog to explore the world through NYC. I just need to figure out what to explore FIRST.

Possibly My Favorite Minute of 2011

I have intense blog envy for mommy bloggers that manage to write the narrative of their family life on a daily basis. Every time I read Dear Baby, for example, I'm inspired and super jealous. Anyways, there are a lot of wonderful memories from last year, my first full year as a mother, that are sitting up in my noggin and need to be jotted down somewhere so I don't lose them forever. Here is one that might just be my favorite.

My friend Melinda and I took Savannah to Lido Beach. It was a short trip and I tried to photo-document as much of Savannah's first warm-weather "beach experience" as possible. I often find it hard to live in the moment during these "firsts" because I'm so occupied with normal parenting responsibilities like feeding, nursing and diapering PLUS taking photos, telling Savvy about what we're doing, making sure she experiences the sand and water, etc, etc. (In fact, during this 2-3 hour stint at the beach, I vividly recall not lying down and relaxing one single time--my own fault.) The day could have been stored in my subconscious as a fun day at the beach, but there was one moment in particular that made me stop and feel the gravity of this particular first. It also reminded me to pause sometimes to see life through Savvy's eyes.

Savvy was cruising at this point and able to walk steadily if I held both her hands, so I took her for a walk to the water sans camera while Melinda read a magazine. Usually I had to contribute to her forward momentum by pushing her forward a bit, but as soon as her toes hit the ocean she dashed forward and I had to speed up my pace to keep up. She was practically running! She did not want to stop - she loved the water so much; just wanted to go farther out. I stopped her when she was about thigh deep because I'm a scaredy cat. I was so taken aback by her speed that it hit me: Her desire to run into the unknown was a metaphor for her life. Not even a year old, she had her whole future in front of her just like this vast ocean and she wanted to explore it all. I was so intensely proud of her. She had no fears, nothing holding her back (well, except for me...).

I crouched down behind her and put my hands on her waist. "This is the ocean, Savannah. Do you feel the breeze on your face? Do you hear the waves? Isn't it amazing?" And we stood there.

This photo was taken that afternoon during a different trip to the water. You can see how far we were able to walk out before getting to the waves. My girl ran quite the distance!

Christmas Card Fail

Last year, after months of writing thank you notes for dozens of baby shower and welcome-to-the-world gifts, I boycotted holiday cards. I didn't send any. I never wanted to address another envelope as long as I lived. And I heard about it from many people! Everyone wanted a picture of a holiday-garbed Savannah on their refrigerators and I disappointed the masses.

This year, I didn't even think about holiday cards until I saw a great deal on Groupon--$15 for 30 photo cards. I bought it immediately along with a cute Santa-style dress on Zulily for Savvy to wear in her card picture.

I could have done what most people do--dress her up and take her to Sears or its Manhattan equivalent for a standard portrait. But I figure, "That's lame; everybody does that. Savvy's photogenic. I have a $700 camera. New York is full of places with great decorations that would make suitable photo backdrops. My photographer who's actually worth a splurge just had a baby. I'll do it myself! We'll have fun! Savvy will smile like she always does!!!"

Well. I've had four ideas so far and they've all failed. And the clock is ticking for me to get these cards created! Oh the pressure!

Here's what we've tried so far:

Close to Home - The Lazy Mom's Choice

Soon after Savannah's new dress arrived, the building next door decorated their trees with white lights. Perfect! The weather was chilly but mild so 5 minutes without a coat after dark wouldn't bother her. The soft glow of the lights would illuminate my daughter's angelic face and since the lights were white it would look great as a black & white photo.

I prepped my husband in advance with my vision--"Ok babe, you're going to hold Savannah at the waist under her dress and lift her as high as you can towards the lights, keeping your arms hidden, and I'll take close-up pictures."

"Then you're going to stand her on the ledge and let go but be ready to catch her or hold on to her with one hand so I can just crop you out."

Good ideas. Bad execution. My camera wasn't as great in low light as I thought--And Savannah didn't stay still long enough to accommodate the slow shutter speed. We tried the flash after a while but those weren't good either--Savannah had no reason to smile with her crazy parents fumbling around like idiots throwing her into trees and whatnot.

This was our best shot:

Traditional - Photo With Department Store Santa

I thought MY kid would be different. She wouldn't be scared of Santa. She would dazzle him with her charm, say "hi...HI...hi....hi" like she did to EVERYONE on the bus ride to Bloomingdales, show her dimples for a few seconds and all would be well.

On the way, I told Savvy we were visiting Santa: "We're going to see Santa! He brings you presents. He's going to have a white beard and will be wearing a red outfit that looks just like yours. You're going to sit on his lap and get your picture taken!" Her comprehension is excellent, but this rudimentary pep talk didn't really stick. As soon as we got to the Santa area she started shaking her head. I was all "Want to meet Santa? You can walk around and sit on his lap." *shake shake shake* *sad face* *trembling lip*

"Look! They have an elmo doll! Want to hug Elmo???" *tears* *no no no*

Santa gave her a long schpeal about how he represents all that is magic in the world and some other BS but she wasn't having it. She was crying and crying just looking at him.

I thought about putting her back in the carrier and leaving. She obviously didn't want to sit with Santa. But we were there. It's cute to have a picture of a kid crying with Santa, isn't it? So I handed her off and knelt down out of the shot while the elves snapped 5 pics.

Here's the shot where she looked at the camera. She was yelling "ALL DONE". I feel so guilty for causing her such anguish!!!

Trendy - The New York Palace Hotel

If it's good enough for Gossip Girl, it's good enough for Savannah!

We walked past the Palace and low and behold, their tree was trimmed and complete with two very handsome, tall toy soldier models. Oh this will be PERFECT.

NOT. (Though it is QUITE cute.)

"One day she'll love us," according to the hunky soldier on the left. Oh, I bet she will.

Classic New York - The Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree

This had real potential. The crowds directly surrounding the tree were sparse enough for me to confidently let Savannah walk around without worrying about losing sight of her. She liked looking at the tree and all the people. She was smiling left and right and being her normal self.

So I put her down, piled up all our stuff to the side, got out the camera and lied down on the concrete to snap some photos. We were so close to the tree that I had to get really low to the ground to get Savvy and the lights in the frame.

Savannah was smiling up a storm because the family next to us started talking to her, telling her she was adorable, etc. This would have been well and good, but they were standing and I was lying down. She would not look in my direction.

The other mother realized the problem and was all "Sweetie, look at your mommy! Your mommy is trying to take your picture!!" Anyone with kids should know this is the WRONG strategy. It made Savvy stare and smile at the lady MORE. The other mom should've just stopped engaging her if she wanted to help. Blargh. So I have lots of pictures of Savannah's nostrils with the tree in the background.

By the time I snapped a dozen photos Savannah was bored from standing in one spot and wanted to walk through the crowds. How did I know she was finished? Well, Little Miss Bossy grabbed my hand and started pulling me up. (She's strong, btw!) She handed me the lens cap from the ground. I said "Do you want to go?" She smiled and did her little bounce that means yes. She then picked up my coat and handed it to me, AND picked up my purse and our shopping bag and brought them over to me. She had a crowd of people laughing at her while she collected our gear:

If you don't get a holiday card from us this year, rest assured it's because all future attempts have resulted in failure as well. It's not that we don't like you.

My photo card Groupon expires in February. Maybe I'll send Valentine's Day cards instead.

Smelling Flowers in Our Backyard

Carl Schurz Park is our backyard. We go there every day. To take walks along the John Finley Walk promenade which has the perfect stonework for stroller-nap-inducing bumpiness. To swing on the swings back and forth, so high, up and down. To have our morning Starbucks coffee/yogurt and greet the rising sun. To set up shop on our blanket for lunchtime picnics. To chase pigeons. To watch dogs play in the small dog park. To teach Savannah the important terminology of our neighborhood: river, doggie, pigeon, flowers, trees, leaves, gray skies, blue skies, neighbors, nannies, babies, big kids...

There are always heaps of people in the park and at the playground. It really is the hub of the neighborhood and somewhat akin to what I imagine a British square or promenade would have been like in the 1800s. But we've found one hidden-away spot that is almost always secluded (you need to do a bit of off-roading with the stroller to get there) with a sizeable grassy area, a few trees and a flower garden that seems to change every month. I like to take Savannah here to explore the grass and see the changing seasons. I call it our backyard and the cherry tree, "our tree".

We enjoyed the last afternoon of summer there yesterday. Savvy celebrated by smelling a flower. Apparently, getting your nose tickled by teeny tiny purple petals is the most hilarious thing ever:

The First Fortune Cookie

Savannah's first fortune cookie reads, "Little brooks make great rivers."

What would have been a maddening fortune for me ("Gah. That's not a fortune. WHAT DOES IT MEAN????"), is the absolute best fortune ever for a 1 year old.

And she liked the cookie.