April 24, 2008

Snoring and Toenails and Spooning, oh my!

I'm an awesome girlfriend during the day, but as soon as the sleeping happens, Rob starts to have issues. Everyone's got their crazy sleeping habits I suppose, but I can usually fall asleep right away even if Rob is twitching like crazy (I once counted him twitching 25 times before I finally fell asleep) or shaking his foot (don't ask---ever since he was a kid he used to lull himself to sleep by shaking his foot---no clue why).

But I let these things go. I'm used to them. I fall asleep first now and don't get bothered by anything he does in his sleep.

Not so with this boy. My snoring and my toenails send him to the breaking point.

I snore. Almost every night. I'm usually oblivious to both my snoring and Rob's attempts to stop me from snoring but sometimes he tells me about them. He will hold my nose, tap my head, hit me in the back, shake me…whatever it takes. And I never notice. The other night though, I was having one of those very active dreams where I felt like I was awake, and all of a sudden in real life Rob put his hand over my nose and mouth, a la a criminal trying to silence his victim from behind before he drags her into a field and kills her. He's been doing this forever, and this was the first time I noticed, but immediately woke up, freaking out, thinking that he was trying to kill me. This was way scarier than the time he had a mini night terror and punched me in the back.

My toenails also prevent this boy from getting any sleep. No matter how gingerly I try to get into and out of the bed or move around, I and up scratching up his poor shins, and he FREAKS out. He never remembers this in the morning, but he has insanely violent reactions to this. I've been retaliated against many a time.

Two nights ago I nicked his shin with my big toe and was expecting to have to fight off his toenail-ed retaliation, but instead he sat up in bed and yelled "SPOON". So we started spooning and went back to bed. Phew. He remembers none of this.


Goofy Girl said...

Sounds like someone needs to be sleeping on the couch... and our fair species do need our beauty sleep ;)

Eimi said...

The punching in the back story literally made me laugh out loud. That is HILARIOUS! Along with the yelling of spoon and random toenail scratchings. You guys are great.

joker said...

Does he like your feet and toenails?

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